The Winds Of Time
by tarin2014tfan
Summary: Leo begins to shoulder the responsibilities of being Sensei now that Splinter has passed.


**The Winds of Time**

**Disclaimer** \- I do not own TMNT or any of the characters therein. Some VERY rich dude does.  
**Rating** \- Mature (Don't like. Do not read.)  
**Story Warnings** \- Emotional distress, Mentions of death, Mentions of alcohol use, Mentions of tcest, Supernatural happenings (Don't like these topics? Do not read.)  
**Pairings** \- None (Don't like? Do not read.)  
**Universe** \- 2003  
**Ages** \- All turtles are 23

**Summary** \- Leo begins to shoulder the responsibilities of being Sensei now that Splinter has passed.

* * *

**The Winds of Time**

It was his first time.

He'd never done this before. He'd never had to. Their Master had always taken care of things like this.

Splinter was gone.

He was Master now.

It was his responsibility.

Leo ran his hand appreciatively along the top of a plain, unassuming, wooden cabinet tucked away in the far corner of the dojo. A smile tugged at his mouth.

Building the cabinet had been the ninja turtles first task after receiving their weapons. The first thing he and his brothers had accomplished as a team.

Master Splinter had been so proud when they presented him with the finished product, the old rat had practically beamed.

It wasn't until much later when they began going topside, and protecting the city's inhabitants that they discovered the true reason behind that cabinet.

It wasn't simply some forgotten piece of furniture tucked away in a corner, used to house bits and pieces of this and that no one ever really used. No, far from it. That seemingly forgotten cabinet was second only to the weapons that hung on the wall.

The weapons kept the turtle warriors alive. The contents of that simple cabinet kept them living.

With a feather light touch, Leo opened the twin doors. The hinges moved smoothly, making not a sound. They never had.

With quiet reverence, he knelt, bowing his head, as he had often seen his father do. After several seconds, Leo removed a cloth wrapped tray kept on the lowest shelf. It was the only item ever placed on that shelf. A symbolism of their life's foundation.

The base for all they did.

With careful movements, the leaf green turtle removed the protective covering. The tray's wooden surface gleamed with a polished sheen from many years of use.

The ninja master briefly wondered if he should replace the tray with something more representing of himself. Something made of shell, or metal perhaps? Maybe something blue?

Splinter had once told him it was tradition for the incoming Master to replace certain key items belonging to the old Master. It was a visual indication of the change of authority.

Undeniable proof of the passage of time.

Leo turned the tray over, lightly running his fingertips over the slight imperfections marring the edges. Imperfections left behind by his father's sharp claws.

No.

He gently set the tray on top of the cabinet.

This tray would stay, and continue to be used. It may have belonged to the previous Master, but it also represented the beginning of their lives as ninja, and that life had begun with Splinter.

Leo carefully folded the cloth, placing it back on the shelf.

Let the next clan Master worry about replacing it.

Hazel eyes moved to the next shelf up, and the four white pillar candles sitting there.

Reaching inside, Leo carefully lifted out the candle closest to the weapons rack. "Raph," he said softly, cradling a half melted candle with a red fabric base in the palm of his hand.

Running his fingertips along the trails of melted wax, a sad look crossed Leo's face; his brow furrowed in a deep frown. With deliberate movements, the blue banded leader set the candle on the tray, then reached back inside.

The next candle was considerably taller than Raph's, although it did show more signs of having been handled. Small gouge marks, and dark smudges dotted the once pristine sides.

"Mikey."

Leo was fairly sure this was only the second candle ever used for the youngest brother. It was certainly no more than Mikey's third. The sea green ninja had made the fewest kills out of all of them, and Raph, most of all, worked very hard to make sure it stayed that way.

His hand hovered over the next candle, the one with a purple fabric base. "Not this time," Leo sighed in gratitude. "Not this time," he repeated softly.

The next candle was little more than a stub.

"Mine."

Obviously, it was time for a new one.

Resigning himself, the blue banded turtle peeled the blue, wax coated fabric from the bottom of the stub. He took a fresh candle from the topmost shelf of the cabinet, pressing the fabric to the base with his palm. He placed the new candle on the tray with the others then placed the stub back on the shelf next to Donnie's candle.

He would deal with that later.

Leo once again bowed his head. He then stood, closed the doors to the cabinet, and with tray in hand, left the dojo.

The leader in blue headed for the main room of the lair, the place where the "heart and soul" of the family was located. Splinter had always insisted this particular ritual take place in that room, claiming the taking of a life affected the heart... the spirit most of all, and that was where healing must begin.

Having turned the lights off before entering the dojo as part of the ritual, Leo now moved effortlessly through the inky blackness shrouding their home. He skillfully maneuvered his way around furniture, cat toys, and various other forgotten obstacles to set the candle laden tray on top of the pallets Donnie had refurbished a few years ago into a coffee table.

The brothers had placed the table in front of the sofa for their aging father's comfort and convenience, and after Splinter's passing no one had had the heart to remove it.

Now it seemed fitting that the table was still there.

Leo glanced around the room, taking in all of the shadowed shapes scattered about. The lair felt different with the lights off, comforting, more complete somehow. In an odd sort of way, soothing.

It still didn't do much to alleviate Leo's anxiety.

The leader in blue wondered if his father had ever felt this way. Nervous and unsure of himself, scared of royally messing up.

One corner of Leo's mouth lifted. Of course Splinter had felt nervous and unsure of himself, probably more often than the old rat had cared to count. And with four ninja sons to raise, certainly more often than their Sensei would have ever admitted to.

He inhaled deeply.

It didn't matter whether Splinter had felt unsure of himself or not. It didn't matter whether he would have admitted it or not. Leo still had his duty as Sensei to perform, and perform it he would. He just wished Splinter was there to give him some words of wisdom, and advice.

Leo's smile grew. He knew exactly what his father would say, and could almost hear his father's voice as clearly as if the old rat were standing beside him there in the darkness.

_"If a leader shows confidence in his actions regardless of how unsure he may truly feel, those who follow that leader will see his confidence, and feel confident as well, my son."_ Or, in other words... _"Suck it up, buttercup."_

How he wished his father was really there.

Leo's smile vanished almost instantaneously.

Taking a deep breath to steady his nerves, the now Master knelt in front of the table. He settled in to wait for his brothers, trying very hard not to let the sudden longing he felt for his father get the best of him.

He hoped his wait wouldn't be long.

Donatello stepped out of his lab into the pitch black hallway. He headed without hesitation straight for the main room of the lair, as if sensing on some psychic level Leo was waiting.

The lack of light in no way hindered the bo master, in fact the genius didn't even notice. He moved as if on autopilot with a lost, faraway look in his eyes, and movements lacking their usual fluidity, and grace.

Without a word, Donnie knelt beside his brother. He folded his hands in his lap, keeping his eyes fixed on the tray in front of him. Anyone watching would have thought the genius to be deep in thought were it not for the haunted expression on the olive turtle's face.

Not only did Leo see the look on Donnie's face moments before the genius turned away, he also knew why it was there.

The leader wanted to say something, to give his brother some degree of comfort, but the fact that Donnie hadn't acknowledged him in any way clearly said his brother wasn't ready to talk.

Leo understood. He wasn't the brother Donatello needed comfort from. All Leo could do was be supportive, which he was by simply being there, and being silent.

Fresh from a shower, and looking forward to kicking back with a bag of chips and a beer, Raph exited the bathroom making a bee line for the kitchen. At first, the emerald turtle didn't notice the lights; he was still drying his head with a towel. What he did notice however, was how unusually quiet everything was.

Internal alarms screaming, Raph paused just outside the kitchen doorway. He slowly pulled the damp towel from his head, cautiously looking around.

His eyeridges dropped in a deep frown. Not even the red glow from the stand-by lights on the television array could be seen.

Something had to be wrong.

The emerald brawler figured it was most likely a fuse. It happened all the time, so much so that Donnie no longer had any qualms about letting his brothers replace them. Leo included.

But still, there was that outside chance it was something major, and Don needed help.

Yeah, Leo could handle most repairs, and was more than capable helping with the more complicated stuff if detailed instructions were provided. But there was just something about electrical current that kept kicking big brother's tail.

Raph couldn't help but grin, sometimes that 'kick' was literal.

The last time Leo had helped with something electrical the blue banded turtle had ended up unconscious for half an hour, and Mikey had ended up making toast on the stovetop for a week.

Just as he opened his mouth to call out to Donnie to find out what was going on, Raph noticed said brother and Leo kneeling at the coffee table.

The events of the last several hours came thundering back.

With a heavy sigh the brawler flipped his towel over his shoulder, and headed back down the hallway towards the bedrooms. He returned a few seconds later, Michelangelo in tow. They joined their brothers kneeling at the table, and waited for the ritual to begin.

The loud scratch of a match being struck filled the silence seconds before a tiny flame flared to life.

Although it did little to push back the encroaching darkness, the little flame glowed brightly in determined defiance to the surrounding gloom.

"All life is precious," Leo said solemnly, repeating the words their father had spoken so many times before. "And as warriors we are guardians of that life."

He touched the match flame to each of the three candles in turn.

"There are those in this world who do not place any degree of value on life," Leo continued. "Any life. Not even their own."

With a flick of his wrist, Leo extinguished the match, staying silent until smoke no longer curled from the burnt end.

"We protect those who are unable to protect themselves, and in doing so, we oftentimes encounter those who do not value life." He inhaled deeply. "And sadly, a life is lost."

Leo looked up from the flicking flames of the candles. His hazel eyes widened slightly seeing the play of light and shadow on his brothers' faces.

It looked as if they were crying.

"Tonight, while protecting a family, three lives were lost. We gave those men several opportunities to stop, to save their lives in more ways than one. They chose not to listen." He paused. "Regardless of how those men viewed their lives, we view them as valuable and precious, and having been taken from this world far too soon. We now remember those lost lives with sorrow. We now honor those lost lives with respect."

For several heartbeats, the four brothers watched the flames dancing atop the candles.

Normally, Leo would have been first to blow out his candle. As leader, he wanted to set an example for his brothers, to let them know it was not their fault.

They had not willingly taken those lives. They had been given no other choice.

He wanted them to understand it was acceptable to do whatever was necessary in order to save an innocent life, and each other as long as they never crossed that line of becoming complacent about the value of life.

That was the reason Splinter started the ritual. That was the real reason behind them building the cabinet.

Now as both leader and Sensei, Leo would be last, accepting the responsibility of not only taking a life, but also of not being able to protect his brothers from having to do the same.

Leo had thought Raph would be first tonight. That the second-in-command would take on the responsibility that Leo, as Sensei, had had to give up.

He was wrong.

This time it was Mikey who went first.

The sea green turtle leaned forward, and extinguished his candle with a gentle puff of air. With a soft sigh he went to lean back, but stopped when fingertips lightly touched his arm.

"Mikey... I," Donnie chewed at his lip searching for the right words. "I know what taking a life does to you. What it does to all of us," he said softly. "But if you hadn't been there, watching out for me... I..."

Mikey reached over laying his free hand atop the olive toned one on his arm. "Donnie... Don't."

A pained expression crossed the genius' face as he tightened his hold his brother's arm. "If you hadn't stopped him, Mikey. I wouldn't be here. I was so wrapped up in getting that mother, and her baby to safety, I... I'm sorry you had to do that... because of me," tears welled up in Don's eyes. "But little brother, I'm grateful that you did."

The olive turtle suddenly found himself on the receiving end of a Mikey bear hug.

"I'd slaughter half this city to keep you, ANY of you, alive," Mikey said vehemently. "And I'd never think twice about it. I can't...WON'T lose you! Ever!"

From the corner of his eye, Leo caught the slight lifting at the corners of Raph's mouth as the emerald brawler watched their brothers.

For all of his size and gruffness, Raph really was a loving and gentle being, especially when it came to his family. The emerald turtle was happiest when his brothers were safe and content, and Leo knew full well Raph would think nothing of sacrificing himself to keep them that way.

"Don't worry, Mikey," Raph leaned forward blowing out his candle. "Ya won't never have ta, long as I'm 'round."

Leo looked at his emerald brother with guarded eyes. "You're needed too, Raphael," he said.

"Don't worry, Fearless. I'm not gonna do anyt'in' stupid." The brawler placed a hand on Leo's shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "I don't have dat luxury anymore."

"You never did," Donnie said, staring unflinchingly at his red banded brother.

"I know dat now, Don."

"Should of known it all along," Mikey mumbled.

Leo felt the subtle shift between his brothers.

As the years passed, the four brothers had learned to accept that taking a life was an unfortunate part of what they did. It took less time now for them to make peace within themselves for doing what had to be done, but took longer to make peace with the fact it had to happen at all.

Those three men had been given ample opportunity to walk away. The fact that they chose to continue a losing battle for whatever reason left the four brothers feeling as if they had failed in some way. Failed not only the men who had died, but also each other.

What was needed now, especially for Donatello, and Michelangelo were the reassurances from each other that jump started their personal healing.

It was time to bring the ritual to a close.

Just as the sword master drew a breath to blow out his candle, a sudden, unexpected gust of wind rushed through the lair. The tiny, solitary flame danced and sputtered, sending a mosaic of shadows flicking across the walls.

Baffled, the brothers looked around the room, searching for the possible source of the mysterious breeze. Three pair of eyes settled on Donnie, hoping for a logical explanation.

"That's... impossible," the genius said hesitantly.

"Could it have been a surge in the ventilation system?" Leo asked. "Making the fans turn faster?"

"No," Donnie shook his head. "The air ducts run perpendicular to the direction of the wind current." He looked the leader in the eye, "Like I said, Leo. What just occurred is impossible."

As if trying to prove Donatello wrong, the wayward breeze repeated itself, only this time coming from the opposite direction.

Leo's mask tails fluttered in it's wake as the dancing flame on his candle gave one final sputter before going out. The only thing the wind left behind was a thin trail of smoke drifting lazily towards the ceiling.

"Okay, did that freak out anyone else, or just me?" Mikey muttered, glancing nervously from one brother to the next.

"It's alright, Mikey." Leo smiled, hoping to quell his baby brother's vivid imagination before it got the better of him... Again. "I was about to blow it out anyway."

"Yeah, but if a candle goes out during a ritual, it's a sure sign that spirits are hanging around! Probably EVIL spirits. And bad luck! Didn't you know that? Everybody knows that!"

Leo took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Too late, Mikey's imagination was running at full throttle.

The leader in blue glanced at Donnie. An eyeridge lifted in a silent plea.

The genius just shrugged.

Leo shifted his gaze to Raph.

Giving his older brother a wink, the emerald turtle responded in true Raphael fashion.

"If bad luck does show up Mike," he growled. "Den it'll jus' be business as usual. Turtle luck does nuttin' but try an' kick our shells on a daily basis anyway. Now, I'm starvin'. Who's up fer some food?"

"I could eat," Donnie said, having caught on, and deciding to play along.

"Food does sound good," Leo agreed. He stood, picking up the tray. "I'll be in as soon as I put things away. Don, would you get the lights?"

Mikey watched his brothers scatter with terror filled eyes. He was reluctant to let his worry go, but when faced with food or fear, food won out every time.

"Yeah, okay. Food's good," Mikey jumped over the sofa to catch up with Raph before the emerald turtle got too far away. "How about pizza?"

"Perfect!" Raph pulled Mikey in for a quick noogie. "Yer cooking!"

Leo couldn't help but smile at the antics of his two brightly banded brothers. He was beginning to better understand why Splinter had chosen the colors for the four of them that he had. Although different as night is from day, Raph and Mikey both had their own special light.

Entering the dojo, Leo was surprised to find the lights inside already on.

"I thought you might could use some help."

Leo was only slightly less surprised to see Donatello step out of the shadows at the back of the room to stand beside the cabinet.

"Sure. Thanks."

The doors were open and waiting for him by the time Leo crossed the room.

Donnie watched silently as Leo set the candle stub on the floor, and put the ritual candles back inside. "Sensei would be proud of you for tonight," he said, reaching over to pick up the all but useless little candle.

Leo hadn't realized how important it was to him to do a good job with the ritual until Donnie said something. "Really?"

Donnie nodded, watching Leo rewrap the tray. "Yeah. Just go ask Raph and Mikey. They'll agree with me. Well, right up until that weird gust blew through anyway."

Leo paused, glancing up at his brother. "That was strange," he agreed. "Do you have any idea what could have caused that?"

Frowning, Donnie shook his head, handing Leo back the candle stub. "I would have said it was probably something mechanical, and halfway believed it myself right up until it changed direction, and came back."

Leo reached behind the cabinet, pulling out a small wooden chest. "And now?"

Donnie spoke with complete assuredness. "It wasn't anything science can explain."

"That leaves Mikey's theory."

"Considering everything we've experienced in our lives Leo, does that possibility really seem so farfetched? We've dealt with aliens of several races, went time traveling more than once, been turned into dragons, fought ghosts, and been turned into pixilated bits of information within the internet. I mean we started life out as pet shop animals for crying out loud. I don't see anyone flushing us down a toilet now, do you?"

Leo chuckled, only Donatello could look so utterly serious in the face of such absurdity.

"Okay," Leo held his hands up in mock surrender. "It was some wayward spirit." He opened the chest, adding the candle stub in his hand to the growing pile within. "Just don't tell Mikey, or it'll be three months before any of us get to sleep alone again."

"We don't sleep alone now, Leo," Donnie teased. "But I'll come up with something anyway, deal?"

"Deal."

Both turtles were momentarily distracted by loud laughter coming from the kitchen followed by the clattering sound of pots and pans being shuffled around.

"Why don't you go on in, Don. I just need to put this away, then I'll be right there."

"Alright," Donnie started for the door. "I'll make sure Mikey saves you a crust so we can have one of those white sauce veggie pizzas you like so much."

Leo waited until Donnie was out the door before sliding the chest back into place. He stood, once again running his hand over the top of the cabinet.

"I just wish I was as certain as you are, Donnie," he muttered softly.

Leo stood there lost in thought until Mikey shouted for him from the kitchen.

"Hey, bro! This crust isn't going to top itself! And Raphie's wanting to put pepperoni on it!"

"I am not! And don't call me Raphie!"

There was the unmistakable sound of something wet splattering followed by Raph's angry bellow, Donnie's unreserved laugh, and Mikey's big-brother-come-save-me screech.

"The more things change," Leo chuckled.

Still smiling, Leo opened the large storage cabinet sitting in the opposite corner of the dojo. He pulled out a stick of sage incense along with a stand, and set them up on the ash mat kept on top of the ritual cabinet. Once certain the incense was lit, the leaf green turtle headed for the door walking just a bit faster than normal.

Eager to be with his brothers, Leo missed the gentle breeze that blew across his cheek when he reached for the light switch.

The darkness in no way hindered the wayward air current as it swirled along the weapons wall, spinning along each and every weapon. It paused a few inches above the cabinet, twirling like a mini tornado for several seconds before vanishing completely.

A halo of light surrounded the smoke trail drifting up from the stick of incense Leo had left burning. It slowly began to twist and turn, taking on a very familiar shape.

_"I am so very proud of you, Leonardo, my son." _the smoke image whispered._ "In this, you should never doubt."_

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Thank you for reading.


End file.
